The Yang, and the role of the masculine in the empowered woman’s life.
When we think of masculinity today, we immediately conjure up images of Special Operations military, and GQ/Men’s Health magazine cover models. Ripped men, beards, suits, and other external observations of what it means to be a man. Yet, if we take a moment to really observe our society- we have really veered away from the essence of masculinity, and its actual definition has been muddled with what the media wants to sell at that time.
Masculinity in its true form is a trait that is embodied by both men and women, but is more dominant in more straight men and butch lesbians in terms of relationship. It is Yang of the yin/yang duality. Masculinity is: drive, success, protection, and general “get shit done” attitude that is historically attributed to men.
As time and technology progressed, more women have gotten in touch with and embraced their inner masculinity and brought on the culturally significant wave of Feminism, Women’s Suffrage, and ultimately ushered women not just in to the workplace, but on the board of directors and as world leaders.
The embrace of masculinity has done wonders for women’s independence.
As the pendulum swung in the direction of much needed progress, it snuck its way into in a woman’s relationship with Men.
Let’s get back to the nature of duality So, masculinity is one half of the masculine/feminine. Meaning when you have one, you need to have the other as balance. This necessity is clearly illustrated in the ever common complaint that women feel empty or disconnected in their relationships, or can’t seem to “get the commitment” and the pattern of attracting the quintessential “emotionally unavailable man.” These women operating in their masculine themselves becoming needy, clingy, anxious, and acting in manners that are foreign to them when interacting with a masculine man. Or on the same token they’ll attract perfectly available, but repulsive “feminine men” which are inherently okay, but she gets the feeling that she is in an upside down world where she has to cater to his every whim, and unfortunately finds herself leaving ( or worse cheating on) him for a masculine man that makes her feel “wanted“ and “alive”.
Which repeats the whole cycle if she doesn’t become aware of and address her own imbalanced masculinity.
So can I ever be masculine?
Where masculinity DOES have a place in a woman’s life is in times of uncertainty, and challenge. That is when the masculine side plays a role in facing adversity, and trusting yourself that everything will be okay. That inner knowing that everything is divinely/universally guided, and will sort itself out when its the least bit predictable is the perfect role of masculinity. When relegated to the domain of the Mind and some influence over emotion, you will find that a sense of inner balance. Your anxiety which was previously unaddressed fear can be reassured by the Divine Masculine that what ever it fears is of no true danger. That the worst that can happen will happen if it was meant to happen, and acknowledge that it will do everything to empower the mind to minimize the likelihood.